I was never straight, never for a moment in my life. Well I think there was a drunken night that I can not remember.
At that time I was living with a pastor and his wife, Pentecostal. They asked and I told them. I was raised not to lie and why should I be anything other than who I am? The next day I found all my stuff on the porch with a note on it saying my dad would be arriving soon. At that time I was only aware of what he looked like. You could be sure I was not going to tell him. I left that up to my sister to share, it worked out for me. I think they were talking about how my dad works with a lesbian and how they like to drive down the street and cruise girls together. My sister decided that it would be smart to take the opportunity to say “I do that with Brandon” I mean, how could my dad be mad at her for that?
My mother was informed one day when I was in crisis. I just blurted it out that I had broke up with a boy and that I was feeling like crap. She tried to make me feel better and said that she was my mother and that she already knew. Later that day I went home and received a call from my aunt she said my mother had called and was complaining that “I was a freak”. My Aunt reminded her that being gay represented approximately 10% of the population (which is probably closer to 20% and if you include all deviant sexual behavior that is homo it is more like 50% of all living creatures! You are not alone you just don’t know.) My Aunt being the smart woman she is reminded my mom that she and my Aunt have a rare genetic disorder that literally is called “bumps on the bones” and that their are only a dozen or so people with this disorder in the world and this would make them much more of a freak than little old Brandon. My mother thanked her for her perspective and changed her attitude immediately.
After that I was out to everybody. I never let it bother me when the skin heads spit on me at lunch time. Because I knew that if they knew about my mother and Aunt I was sure they would have been harder on them.
It’s the not knowing that hurts so much or rather the knowing that others are out there but you don’t know who is what is so painful. Coming out will be okay it WILL test you. I know this first hand. Life will test you anyways, so why not be brave come out so that others can find you, support you and finally pass a life test that you know rather than one you don’t. It’s pretty good on this side now.