Are you starting to have spring fever? Lately, is everything that your partner is saying and doing starting to annoy you? Fell like you have cabin fever and need to get out and about? Are you coming down with, “It’s not you, it’s me” syndrome? Are you beginning to notice that your relationships never go past the 3-month zone? If so, it sounds like someone has what I like to call, the 3-month itch.
The 3-month itch generally is a feeling of restlessness, laziness or excitement, brought on by the coming of the warm weather, thoughts of the beach and hot men and women walking down the street in almost next to nothing.
From my research, if 3 out of 5 of your consecutive relationships have ended within a 3-month period, your friendly Date Guru needs to warn you about the 3-month curse. Chris Rock always says, “In the first 3 months, you don’t meet the person, you meet their representative.” My advice, fire the representative and be you!
UrbanLand Media knows first hand what it feels like dating someone who has been cursed and wants to help others avoid this bad habit.
Chris and Tony meet at a mutual friend’s birthday party. They have great conversation and a connection so they decide before heading home to grab a bite to eat at the local diner.
Over their midnight meal, they exchange numbers and decide to go on a date, how exciting! Let the dating begin! They start a love affair filled with movies, Broadway plays, bowling, dining out, meeting new friends, and of course the numerous slumber parties for two. Then… the 3-month itch bites Tony in the ass.
It’s a typical Friday night where Tony phones Chris to find out what their plans for the weekend will be and whether he will stay at Chris’ house or vice verse. However, Chris neglected to tell Tony he had made plans to hang out with his friends for weekend.
Chris now starts having an amazing time with friends, feeling free, sexy and flirtatious and misses being unattached and all the fun of being single.
A Hot Guy approaches Chris…Chris and Hot Guy talk all night having a great conversation. Hot Guy is leaving; here is how their conversation ends, here is where the rash begins:
Hot Guy: “Are you seeing anyone?”
Chris: “No, not really, nothing serious!”
Hot Guy: “My friend is having a party tomorrow night, would you like to join me?
Chris: “Sure, it’s a date!”
At this point, the rash is rapidly spreading, Chris starting to have fun again with someone new but still going to movies, dining out and meeting new friends all the same stuff he did with Tony but believes Hot Guy is much more interesting so ends it with Tony.
In this example Chris’s dating experience seems to be based solely around having fun, which I call “surface dating.” I always say, it’s AFTER 3 months that the dating begins because how many movies, dinners or parties can you go to before you understand the true essence of dating. Dating starts after the 3-months because more often than not, it becomes a personal challenge and test to be able to think outside the box with creative ways to keep a relationship fresh, fun and alive.
The 3-month itch simply is when someone is not dating the person. They are chasing the fun of dating. It’s most likely someone who likes dating or food planning made easy (see what’s for dinner post for more details).
However, it’s like anything else, if you do it enough it will become a bad habit, like a curse and hard to shake off.
So, before you use the “It’s not you, it’s me” line, remember, it may not be that you’re no longer interested in the person you’re dating but addicted to frivolous dating, what a curse!