Man Up Already!
If you sign up with a seedy dating website like Ashley Madison or AdultFriendFinder.com (not that I know from experience or anything) then you will notice an unusually high population of ready and willing females. The sudden and inexplicable appearance of all these cyber-hotties who seem oddly fascinated by your unfinished profile will cause you to either (A) declare online dating the best thing ever! or (B) make you think that there are no real women online and that you’re flirting with robots or men who pretend to be women.
The Imaginary Online Friend—Built for Lazy Lovers
What’s with all of these imaginary people? Am I just paranoid, or worse yet, disgruntled because an online female impersonator broke my heart (Sniff…I’m over you Missy Star, really I am)? No, it’s a fact that there are plenty of imaginary people online. We’re not just talking about the virtual hos you find on Craigslist. In fact, both Ashley Madison and AdultFriendFinder have been threatened with lawsuits by their male users who claim that the interested female responders (usually answering within hours of your official joining) aren’t necessarily women or even human.
The question is, are you wasting your time looking for no-strings-attached dating online? No, the legitimate opportunities are out there, but you really have to work for them. First of all, you have to understand the psychology of women. Women are emotional creatures and thus are more inclined to love or “lust” someone that they feel a real connection with. Maybe the woman you fancy isn’t looking for a commitment, or the “love of her life”, but for the attraction to work, she must see you as someone she’s deeply interested in—mentally, emotionally, and perhaps even spiritually.
She wants to know you and get a sense of your character. This is the attraction. It’s no wonder modern dating books encourage guys to adopt an alpha male strategy. Successful men are mysterious, uncontrollable and confident. They are also trained to be hunters and so they go out and look for women wherever they can find them.
Where the Women Are—Hiding Amongst Friendship Seekers
If you can’t seem to find a woman online then you’re not quite getting the principles of attraction. Most women are not going to come out and post a suggestive picture with just a line. They want the full “falling in love” experience, even if that “love” is gone within a day. The experience still meant something and it satisfied a deep inner craving for mental, emotional and physical stimulation.
Therefore, most women will post in the friendship section of a dating site as opposed to the naughty section. They want to be pursued and they want to feel the attraction you are attempting to build by being unpredictable. The no-strings-attached headline is not always attractive, because it implies no risk, no meaning and no significance. Women absolutely must feel that the relationship (even a casual one) is a very special one, one she will always remember, and that you are not like just any guy she’s going to bump into on the street.
If you treat dating like a bodily urge, how surprised can you be that only sex bots and hookers seem interested in your profile? Posting boring information about yourself, uploading boring or predictably X-rated pictures, and begging for a woman’s attention are not attractive. Posting a decent picture of yourself with some interesting paragraphs of personal information is also unlikely to get a huge reaction.
The Answer to Finding Real Women
Why? Because you’re still missing the personal interaction of a dating experience. Women online like to be approached first and then eased into a conversation. A woman who gets cyber-paged several times a day by lonely guys does not have the need (or even the time) to go and look for even more suitors. She wants the best of the best. Your job is to give the best show of the night.
So I want to remind you guys out there who are actually signing up with these casual dating sites and walking away very disappointed, that dating imaginary people is not the answer. Some dating sites use imaginary people as lures because most of their members are lonely men who still haven’t figured out how to date…how to keep a woman’s attention and keep her attracted.
Don’t take cheap shortcuts. Don’t try to pick up a woman using a man’s logic. Stop thinking you can get something for doing nothing. Get in touch with your inner estrogen and think like a woman thinks. This is the first step to outgrowing imaginary friends.
This was a guest post by Danny who works for a dating start-up called top 10 dating websites and provides dating comparison.