Why do friends put so much pressure on us when we start dating someone new?
Dating, relationships, and finding love are difficult, and become more difficult when friends forget what it’s like to be newly in love. Can you recall a time in your dating life when you started to date someone new and your friends laid on thick guilt that you were no longer spending much time with them? When asked about this, they suddenly come down with a case of amnesia. They ignore the fact that you’ve been single half the amount of time they’ve been dating or in a steady relationship and you’ve listened to every reason why their relationship is not working out.
I believe communication with your friends will be the cure to “you’re always with him/her” syndrome. I believe it’s necessary to reassure your friends that nothing will or can come in between your friendship. A question I have always asked when in this situation that seems to put my friends in line and gives perspective to the situation is, “Don’t you want to see me happy?” If they’re a true friend, they will begin to relax and begin to stop feeling that they are losing a friend. In reality they are gaining a friend on the road to becoming a better friend; a happy one.
However, it’s those times that you’re spending quality time with your friend(s) that the person you’re dating pops up. That’s an absolute no-no. Quality time with friends means quality time with friends. Do you think it’s fair to have the person you’re dating pop up when you’re having quality time with your friend(s)? Quality time with a friend is the same as having quality time with the person you’re dating. No one should be allowed to come in between that.
Remember, your friends will always be there whether you’re in a relationship or out of one, so treat them well. Dating someone new or having a friend newly in love can be exciting and uncomfortable all at the same time. Throughout the process, don’t forget to communicate. Reassure one another that nothing will come in between your friendship and stick to that. When a friend is reassured that they are not losing a friend, you no longer hear, “You’re always with him/her.” They know that the quality time that is set-aside for them is true quality time.
Date Smart…Date for Success