Have you ever attended networking mixers? If so, you might have experienced and observed what I believe to be the tell-tail sign why so many people are single.
Just the other day, a friend and I attended a networking mixer and we arrived to a room filled with eligible men and women looking (hoping) to connect. However, the funny thing is there was no connecting going on. Honestly, all I noticed was a lot of staring, finger pointing and chitchatting about the other person across the room. Where was all the connecting, flirting, or exchanging of business cards?
As the night progressed all I could think about was the fact that I was in a room filled with single people with absolutely no connecting going on. I started to ask myself, “Why?” Then I started to realize that anyone who came with a single friend or with a group of friends seemed to never leave that person or group. It was a classic scene for a movie. The Bad Chicks on one side of the room staring down the popular girls, the popular girls gossiping about everyone in the room, the jocks making fun of the nerds. I couldn’t believe my eyes.
How do you expect to connect or meet someone new if you’re not willing to cut the umbilical cord from your friends?
Daily I receive emails, letters and face-face questions about finding love and ways to go about it. My recent “aha” moment was insight into a larger problem! If you’re at an event with eligible men and women who are there for the same exact reason that you are, then why are you talking to the same people you came with and most likely leaving with.
Without my friend even knowing it he encouraged me to do more then just observe. Generally when I attend events, I do not consider it to be a successful evening unless I have given out at least one business card. At that very moment when I told my friend a night is not successful unless I have handed out one business card, he looked at me and said, “Why only one?” Suddenly, I was faced with the realization that in order to make business connections, pursue a new relationship, or develop new friendships I must be willing to leave the safety blanket (my friends) and take the risk on myself and mingle.
It’s always nice to have friends around but the true reason we like to have them around is to help us deal with rejection. When someone gives us the cold shoulder it’s our friends who make us feel better.
Meeting new people can be difficult but when you love yourself, are confident, and you believe you have something to contribute to a conversation or another person’s life is when you’re able to mix and mingle.
The next time you attend a networking event or mixer, challenge yourself to separate from your friend(s) and meet someone new.
Date Smart… Date for Success