Are you uncomfortable when it comes to asking someone else their HIV status? If someone after a few dates discloses their HIV status would you continue dating them?

After watching an amazing video on Public Health Solutions’ website, I felt it was time to bring up a subject most of us would like to avoid when we are dating. It’s what I like to call “A Necessary Evil!”

I know how difficult it can be to discuss this sticky but important topic with partners you barely know. However, it’s a conversation that should happen no later than the third date. Unless having sex comes first. Still not convinced?

To get a taste of what could potentially happen watch “The Morning After.”

Note: Although the characters in the video are gay it can happen to any one of us.

I believe the video is thought provoking and a true reminder that communicating and honesty in the beginning of any relationship is the foundation and key to developing trust.

For ideas on how to spark the conversation check out our “Let’s Talk About Sex” post.

Date Smart… Date for Success!

Be Safe:
National HIV Testing

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Are you always searching for a meaningful one-night stand? Are you a hopeless romantic? Do you feel like Wesley Snipes’ character in the motion picture “The One-Night Stand”?

In my last post after a friend’s tale of a one-night stand, I started wondering if a collection of one-night stands can leave behind an everlasting impression on a person or distract and change a person’s views on love, sex and intimacy.

To have a better understanding of a one-night stand I first needed to define a one-night stand. As I looked up various meanings one definition stood out, “A one-night stand is originally a single night theatre performance (usually a guest group on tour), and today more commonly also a single sexual encounter between individuals, where neither individual has any immediate intention or expectation of establishing a longer-term sexual or romantic relationship.”

How ironic that the modern definition stems from a way to describe actors performing for one night only! One-Night stands are just that, two individuals putting on their best show until the final curtain call.

Although it’s an event that occurs for one night only the effect of several one-night stands over time can lead to the inability to maintain sustainable romantic and meaningful relationships. You become the character of your own drama.

In addition, over time several bad one-night stands can lead an individual to start judging and viewing relationships in a negative light. Based on the collection of negative interactions that are less fulfilling you become distracted from developing healthy or intimate relationships. You begin to crave instant gratification rather than establishing a longer-term commitment to romance and getting to know someone.

Ben Affleck once said, “I’m not the type of guy who enjoys one-night stands. It leaves me feeling very empty and cynical. It’s not even fun sexually. I need to feel something for the woman and entertain the vain hope that it may lead to a relationship.” What do you think? Can your entire life change because of a one-night stand?

Be Safe:
National HIV Testing
NYC Free Condoms

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Are you feeling like Samantha in Sex in the City? Can you count the number of one-night stands you’ve had in the past? Can you recall any of their names? Do you and your friends act like the Gossip Girls when it comes to sharing details about your recent sexapade with Mr. or Ms. One Night Stand?

I could not wait to write this post about a friend’s recent one-night stand. It has to be one of the funniest stories I’ve heard in a long time. Afterward I started seriously thinking about one-night stands and the toll it can have on a person and how it could possibly become the blueprint for bad dating habits.

I am truly starting to wonder if one-night stands leave behind an everlasting impression on a person or distract and change a person’s views on love, sex and intimacy because of a one night? Our next post will focus on these burning questions.

Nevertheless, you have to love your friends for the insane things they say or do when they are dating. Just the other day my friend phoned me because he had something important to tell me. “What could possibly be so important on a Saturday at 9:00 a.m.?” Will you believe he was calling to tell me about his recent one-night stand and how embarrassed he was?

It was Friday night and while attending a party he met someone who he chatted with all night. He decided to invite his new friend to his place for a nightcap. Now, we all know what that means. Another classic line I believe we need retire.

By this point of the story, I still am not seeing the importance of his call but once he started on the next day the story picks up.

While his guest was in the other room getting ready to leave, my friend, being a gracious host, yells into the other room, “Would you like some breakfast?” After his third attempt and no response he rushed into the other room to make sure everything was okay. As he approaches his guest my friend asked him, “Why didn’t you answer me?” “Did you not hear me calling you?” Shocked but puzzled his guest quickly grips a pen and paper and starts writing “I am Deaf”!

Dating can seem challenging, frustrating and stressful at times but based on my own personal experiences once you add one-night stands to the mix, you have a recipe for disaster. Stay tuned for further posts.

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