Has it been a while since you’ve seen your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend since the break-up? Are you dreading the fact that you and your ex run in the same circles and will soon have to be in the same room together? Are you considering inviting a boy-toy/girl-prop to a mutual friend’s next party in order to make your ex jealous?
If so, I know the rules to this game very well. I like to refer to them as the Ex-games. Ex-games are similar to playing extreme sports because when you choose to play the Ex-games you risk potentially causing harm to you, your ex, and even to an innocent by-stander.
The choices we sometimes make when dealing with an ex can be viewed as extreme when we find ourselves doing things that at first glance appear innocent and the right thing to do. But sometimes the most innocent of intentions typically end up making feelings and the situation worse.
Recently a reader of “Urban FLRT Lifestyle” asked me if I knew any eligible bachelors she could take to an event that she believed her ex-boyfriend would be attending. At first, I was going to give her some suggestions, but after serious thought I began to wonder, “What would I do” in this situation.
Of course many people dealing with an ex have a damaged heart, shattered ego, or lost spirit and I would be lying if I didn’t say I would want to call up the hottest guy I know so I could grin in my ex’s face to make a statement, “I am over you!” Then I realized if I followed my ego it would go against everything I have hoped for with writing, “All About Dating!” My mission with each post is to inspire and empower others when it comes to “Dating Smart…Dating for Success.”
Facing an ex for the first time after a relationship ends can be a difficult task. However, if you play the game with YOU in mind, you’ll be playing the game by your own rules. Our natural instinct would be to do exactly what the reader wanted to do, make an ex jealous.
As I started to respond to the reader, I had another “aha” moment. Making a special effort to bring a new someone with you to face the ex is a clear sign that you may be still hurting from the break-up, are insecure with being alone, and it’s a clear message of, “I am NOT over you!”
I also learned from this reader’s question that it is also not fair to bring an innocent person into a hostile and very uncomfortable situation. Although, it’s okay to go to the party knowing your ex will be there, instead of bringing some boy-toy or girl-prop, why not ask a friend or go alone. Going alone is mature, classy and playing the Ex-games to win!
Date Smart… Date for Success!
Corey Wesley
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