Have you recently been given your walking papers? Now that the relationship is over, are you struggling with moving on? Do you understand what it means to commit to the break-up process? After a break-up do you often find a need to blame someone?
If you answered yes or know someone going through a break-up, the All About Dating Guru believes this post may help.
“It’s over” is the first thing we like to proclaim when talking to our friends and even ourselves. We often think that by making this proclamation everything will just go away. However, simply stating “It’s over” and doing nothing else may be more harmful than good. When you suppress how you feel about the person, the relationship, or the fact that you have to start over, you end up saying things you can’t take back. So at this point, “Silence is Golden.”
During any break up we are always tempted to make some form of contact with the new Ex. Most of the time we lie to ourselves saying we need closure. Isn’t “it’s over” enough closure? However, it can be a death trap. You never allow yourself the time required to mourn and let the relationship go. Plus, if you’re anything like my friends, the second you hear his or her voice; you’re begging to get back together because you hate the fact of being alone. Enjoy this time. I refer to it as “You” time.
Just because I said enjoy this time does not mean you should engage in break-up sex. Do you REALLY think having sex with an old lover, a stranger or the first person that shows you some attention is going to help? Let’s think of about this. You probably will feel horrible in the morning and second of all, you’ll be having sex with the EX in your head the whole entire time. This behavior smells like a used car filled with a lot of guilt and confusion. So why not do yourself a favor and skip this part.
Your friends will do their best to help you get over the relationship and set you up on dates. Only when you are ready should you attempt to go on a date. I would hate for you to sit across from someone and talk about your recently ended relationship. Work through your emotions first before taking on another relationship.
Committing to the process of dating is essential to a break up. That means once a relationship has run its course you have to commit to the process of letting go. The All About Dating Guru has a few things sure to make any break up easier:
1. Cry – Dealing with a break up is a difficult task but one that makes us stronger. Crying is a freeing act. Doing it over a glass (not a bottle) of wine may help release those emotions.
2. Purge – Collect all his or her belongings and box them. Have a friend pick them up and mail them for you. Plus, some friends will skip to the post-office knowing you’re getting rid of someone they didn’t like in the first place.
3. Reflect – Grow from the relationship. Think about what might have gone wrong, acknowledge it, and learn from it.
Breaking up is state of mind. You can allow it to either control you or become a stepping block toward a relationship that will last forever. Date Smart…. Date for Success