We are all faced with one unique dilemma when we date and that’s who pays for dinner?
From generation to generation regardless of age, culture, or economic background this question is a debate waiting to happen. Plus the responses to the question amaze me. With all the progress we’ve made with advanced technology and the vast methods in which we meet potential partners this is one aspect of dating that hasn’t changed with the times.
A large population of men and woman have the belief that when asked out on a date the person asking in some way becomes obligated to pay for dinner, how unsettling.
Where did this right of passage come from?
I believe if someone feels they have a right to something so early on in a relationship, it’s a big warning sign. It’s an unhealthy way to start off a relationship.
Relationships seldom last for this very reason, lack of teamwork. Like the saying goes, “there is no “I” in ‘team.’” However, if you look closely there are two “I’s” in “relationship,” which means it takes two to tango.
Just this past Thanksgiving I discovered that three generations of women in my family all rationalize that a man is supposed to pay for dinner. What rulebook is this from?
Looking at it from a gay man’s point of view, it’s confusing. Why is it okay for a women to expect the man to pay for dinner but it’s not okay for a man to expect a little nookie-nookie after paying for dinner.
Having such expectations can be the demise of a relationship. Sometimes these expectations lead you to believe that when someone does not say or do what you expect them to do, you assume they are unworthy of your time, affection, and sometimes your love. Sounds kind of shallow.
As the All About Dating Guru it disturbs me to know that this righteous attitude still exists and plays a big part in the initial stages of a relationship. Instead of spending countless hours placing unrealistic expectations on someone you barely know, why not just be excited about going on a date?
I agree, it is a nice gesture when someone offers to pay for dinner; consider it a gift. But the real treat is having someone show interest in you, not whether your partner is paying for dinner. If the question of who is paying is more important than just going to dinner, don’t even bother.
Date Smart… Date for Success™